You know you have been in Russia too long when ...

You save table scraps for the cat(s) living in the courtyard.

When crossing the street, you sprint.

In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you on the head.

You hear the radio say it is just at or below freezing outside and you think it might be nice day for a change.

You actually know and care who won the last Spartak soccer match.

You win a shoving match with an old Babushka for a place in line and you are proud of it.

You hesitate to put on your seat belt to avoid offending the taxi driver and the impending 5 minute conversation to explain why you are putting it on.

You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.

You "automatically" hand in your pepper spray at the door before going through the metal detector.

You notice that Flathead's cell phone is smaller than yours and you're jealous.

Your day seems brighter after seeing that Goon's Mercedes run into by a pensioner's "Moskvich".

You are thrown off guard when the doorman at the nightclub is happy to see you.

Your not sure what to do you when the "Gai" only asks you to pay the official fine.

You wonder what the tax inspector really wants when she says everything is in order.

You give a 10% tip only if the waiter has been really exceptional.

You plan your vacation around those times of the year when they turn off the hot water.

You're offended when your American friend gives you a "dozen" roses.

You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses Kleenex.

You are envious that your expat friend has smaller door keys than you.

You ask for no ice in your drink.

When you develop a liking for beets.

When you eat hot dogs for breakfast.

When you begin to socialize with your driver and/or your cleaning lady.

When you know what Dostoyevsky's favorite color was.

When you drink the brine from empty pickle jars.

When you start shopping for products by their country of production

When you go for a walk in the park, Baltika in hand, and its -8 and snowing.

When it doesn't seem strange to pay a the GAI of $2.25 for crossing the double line while making an illegal U-turn and $35 for a microwaved dish of frozen vegetables at a lousy restaurant.

When you start to "feel" public transport and bridge opening schedules.

When you know more than 60 Olgas (you know one at least - it's me :) )

When you give you business card to social acquaintances.

When you wear a wool hat in the sauna.

When you put the empty bottle of wine on the floor in a restaurant.


I found this on the site http://www.ahajokes.com/ , I think it's pretty funny, and it's true!!