May, 27 2010
Svetlana Babaeva, special to Russia Now
http://rbth.ru/articles/2010/05/27/what_does_friendship_mean_to_a_russian.html
The American is used to smiling, friendly citizens, while Russians smile only to those they know very well. Since visitors in public places are not friends, there is no need to show attention to them or care. That surprises the American until he learns about Russians better.
“I never could grasp how Russians might be so different. They are so sincere and openhearted at a table or with friends and so aggressive and rude in public service offices,” said a U.S. diplomat who has been working for years in Russia, describing the typical Russian national feature.
Russians who live in the United States for decades and have an opportunity to compare national qualities say that most Americans understand the concept of friendship differently. “It is wise not to rely on your friends to help you to move and carry your furniture, while for Russians [it] is still quite natural to help this way,” said a former Soviet who has been living in the United States for three decades. He added that it is also a bad sign among Americans to present elegant and expensive gifts. Also, when an American says, “Let's get together,” he or she may or may not mean it; Russians only offer to meet when they are serious.
For an American, friendship primarily means having a nice time. It is not commonplace to complain to each other about how severe life is, as Russians do, or to rely on friends to help solve a person’s problems.
Friendship, especially in the Soviet times, was partly a substitute for dysfunctional institutions. In order to get qualified medical service, a person should have acquaintances in a good hospital; in order to get fresh fruits on a holiday table, one needs a friend in food distribution. If parents want to enroll children in a well-regarded school, they should be familiar with the director. Social networking was a crucial component for survival in the Soviet period. Doing and returning favors was one of the touchstones of the Soviet society suffering from a deficit of goods and services, even of fruit or meat.
Finding inside connections is still a vital way of dealing with life’s problems in Russia, because of the lack of both governmental efficiency and the lack of public services for all citizens. Individual Russians, and even companies, still overcome day-to-day headaches—speeding up a surgery date for a relative or paying a fine to police—with a little help from friends. A company may get better business conditions by having friends in the government agencies, while a worker may get a higher position if somebody asks on his behalf. This has little in common with the American system of writing reference letters, and reflects more the lack of functioning laws in Russian society as well as the disparity between wealthy and low-income social groups.
The Russian way does not fit well with the American credo, “The difficult we do at once; the impossible takes a little longer.” Russians often prefer tactics of circumventing the problem; they choose to pay rather than try to solve a problem they face.
Inability to solve problems makes people nervous and angry, and the level of mutual trust in the Russian society is extremely low. Yet according to surveys, Russians count on relatives, friends, the president and neighbors, which means that they do not rely on official institutions.
At the same time, Russians are used to forgiving mistakes and weakness of either friends or public institutions, and this quality reflects, ironically, a quite opposite feature of the Russian character, warmth and cordiality. Once a person has recognized another as a friend, he becomes reliable and candid for ages. They can exchange their deepest feelings and discuss all facets of their lives.
From time to time, Americans share with Russians who live in the United States their fears and concerns, not worrying about being judged as losers or wimps. Russians are used to relying on each other and see little problem if somebody shows weakness. Presumably, this stems in part from the fact that for much of its history, most of the Russian population had nothing at all, and no chance of appreciating any wealth.
American historians give one more explanation of such different understandings of friendship. In their short history, Americans have moved a lot and had little chance to establish long-lasting relationships with friends, colleagues or neighbors. They got by with having friends for fun or colleagues for work.
Finally, Russians love to talk and linger over meaningful, passionate conversation. Americans try to come across as if they are always busy, especially in East Coast cities. They spend 50 minutes at lunch and run back to their routine. Russians can spend hours having dinner if they run into an interesting conversation or company. No waiter will bring a check until he is asked. Cafes and restaurants in Russia are not only about eating; they are about having a cordial talk.
Presumably, our ability to linger over conversation compensates for a shortage of practical achievements.
Friday
Thursday
Monday
Differences and opposites in American and Russian cultures
I noticed some things are quite opposite in these cultures, like these:
1. if someone works at the same job for 15 years in Russia that means he is not able to find anything better, in America that he is a loyal worker
2. in America they eat cake with a fork, in Russia with a spoon
3. and an American soup spoon is round, a Russian one is oval
4. in America they count folding fingers out, in Russia folding in
5. in America Sundays are dead and in Russai it's a day when they have fun and stores close late and by the way an american week starts with Sunday, a Russian one with Monday.
6. in Russia they regard families with 3 and more children as a very large family and people look at them with disapproval
7 in Russia teachers and doctors are traditioanlly poor, although lately it's changing (for doctors, oh, and they are all women :)
8. in America New Year is a reason to get drunk, in Russia it's a family holiday
9. American doughnuts are good cold and Russians ONLY when they are hot
I am sure I will come up with more later :)
1. if someone works at the same job for 15 years in Russia that means he is not able to find anything better, in America that he is a loyal worker
2. in America they eat cake with a fork, in Russia with a spoon
3. and an American soup spoon is round, a Russian one is oval
4. in America they count folding fingers out, in Russia folding in
5. in America Sundays are dead and in Russai it's a day when they have fun and stores close late and by the way an american week starts with Sunday, a Russian one with Monday.
6. in Russia they regard families with 3 and more children as a very large family and people look at them with disapproval
7 in Russia teachers and doctors are traditioanlly poor, although lately it's changing (for doctors, oh, and they are all women :)
8. in America New Year is a reason to get drunk, in Russia it's a family holiday
9. American doughnuts are good cold and Russians ONLY when they are hot
I am sure I will come up with more later :)
Saturday
Bortsch
Most likely you heard about bortsch, a beet soup. Maybe you even have tried it. You may like it or not, but if you don't like it, then you haven't found your bortsch yet :) as so many different kinds of it are out there. Here is mine:
You will need (the quantity of the ingredients is approximate):
4-6 potatoes, 2-3 beets, 2 tomatoes, 2 zucchini, a third of a cabbage head, 3 carrots, 1 onion, meat (a chunk of beef, better with a bone and some fat), garlic if you like it.
1. Put meat into a big pan with water and leave it on the oven until it boils, probably it will be after about 20 minutes. As soon as it boils make the heat less and take off all the foam with a spoon.
2. While you are waiting for the meat to boil, peel and cut potatoes, beets, tomatoes, zucchini, onions and shred carrots. But don’t mix it yet.
3. Fry onion, beet and carrots with salt, garlic, pepper. Don’t burn
4. After you have taken the foam off, put into the soup potatoes and the mix of fried onion and carrots.
5. Then shred or cut into thin pieces cabbage. Add it to the soup.
6. Add tomatoes and zucchini. You may add some spices you like, but don’t go overboard with it.
7. When serve the soup add some sour cream, it’s not that fattening really, but it makes the soup taste much better.
Note: stick to the order how you put the vegetable, because potatoes and zucchini for example have different amount of time needed in order to be cooked.
You will need (the quantity of the ingredients is approximate):
4-6 potatoes, 2-3 beets, 2 tomatoes, 2 zucchini, a third of a cabbage head, 3 carrots, 1 onion, meat (a chunk of beef, better with a bone and some fat), garlic if you like it.
1. Put meat into a big pan with water and leave it on the oven until it boils, probably it will be after about 20 minutes. As soon as it boils make the heat less and take off all the foam with a spoon.
2. While you are waiting for the meat to boil, peel and cut potatoes, beets, tomatoes, zucchini, onions and shred carrots. But don’t mix it yet.
3. Fry onion, beet and carrots with salt, garlic, pepper. Don’t burn
4. After you have taken the foam off, put into the soup potatoes and the mix of fried onion and carrots.
5. Then shred or cut into thin pieces cabbage. Add it to the soup.
6. Add tomatoes and zucchini. You may add some spices you like, but don’t go overboard with it.
7. When serve the soup add some sour cream, it’s not that fattening really, but it makes the soup taste much better.
Note: stick to the order how you put the vegetable, because potatoes and zucchini for example have different amount of time needed in order to be cooked.
Thursday
Russian salad OLIV'E
There is a salad, that everybody who is interested in Russian culture must try. You might not like it, but you need to know what the fuss is about. Oliv'e is mandatory for New Year's parties. Here is how to make it:
You will need:
mayonnaise you may replace it with something similar to it if you don't like it)
1 can of peas
1 jar of pickles
4-5 potatoes
4-5 eggs
2 packs of ham
cooked chicken breast or just chicken or turkey ham (I prefer turkey ham just because it is so much easier to cook with)
You need to cut everything into pieces roughly of the same size. The main rule when you put together the ingredients is all ingredients should be in the same proportion. Right before you serve the salad, add mayonnaise or other dressing you use.
that's all what you need. Easy and cheap :). I like to use double quantity as the work will be almost the same and we will eat everything up anyway.
peas. Make sure you don't put much water from the can.
ham
and pickles.
Eggs and potatoes.
Now mix everything
and mix.
the salad :)
You will need:
mayonnaise you may replace it with something similar to it if you don't like it)
1 can of peas
1 jar of pickles
4-5 potatoes
4-5 eggs
2 packs of ham
cooked chicken breast or just chicken or turkey ham (I prefer turkey ham just because it is so much easier to cook with)
You need to cut everything into pieces roughly of the same size. The main rule when you put together the ingredients is all ingredients should be in the same proportion. Right before you serve the salad, add mayonnaise or other dressing you use.
that's all what you need. Easy and cheap :). I like to use double quantity as the work will be almost the same and we will eat everything up anyway.
peas. Make sure you don't put much water from the can.
ham
and pickles.
Eggs and potatoes.
Now mix everything
and mix.
the salad :)
Monday
First Monolithic Dome Home in Russia
Workshop graduate builds a dome-home
Sviet Raikov, a native Russian, who attended a Monolithic Dome Workshop in 1994 and returned to Moscow with one of our Training Paks, reports the completion of a 36’ X 18’ dome home — the first of its kind in Russia!
According to Sviet, there are two bedrooms upstairs with built-in beds and desks. The staircase turns back in on itself; it uses less room than even a spiral staircase would. As one enters the home, the kitchen is on the right and the living room, with a fireplace, is on the left. To protect the home’s interior during cold winters, the entryway has a double door.
The dome is a 36’ hemisphere and is quite striking in a neighborhood of conventional homes. Its tiny United States flag on top attracts even more attention.
A new page
Sviet writes about his experiences: “You know, I had such a wonderful feeling when the Airform was inflated, it is like give birth to a baby. I know that today was open a new page of my life and lives of my friends. The couple we are making this building for said that there are a whole bunch of their friends who are excited to have domes constructed, so we are now like the concert performers playing in front of the big audience.”
“We spent a lot of time on the stairs. We had to come up with an inexpensive way to build it. Most troublesome was the railing because of the spiral form. But, as you can see we found the way and although it takes some handwork it looks beautiful and the material is not expensive.”
http://www.monolithic.com/stories/first-monolithic-dome-home-in-moscow-russia
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